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Frequently asked Questions,
Revision 00.0.0.0.01-001
Revision Date: January 1, MMX Anno Domini

Q: Who are you?

A: I am Rev. Dr. Luke P. Patmore, Archbishop of the Indiana Diocese of the Most Holy Church of the Immaculate Lemur, 69th degree master conspirator of The Great Conspiracy, vicar of the mighty garden gnomes. Bow before me in reverence and kiss my organ shoes.

Q: Why aren't you hosting this on your own machine with a killer app like Apache?

A: Because I haven't set up Apache on my recently liberated former desktop machine yet. I will eventually, and that should give me more flexibility as far a storage goes. I may set of a library of recordings and mirror some software! Isn't that just freaking exciting?!

Q: Okay. Why do you hate Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer so much?

A: Because Microsoft is Satan's tool and they are the two dark necromancers of Redmond! You can use Free Software, though. That's free as in freedom.

Q: Are Apple machines okay?

A: No. They too are proprietary and evil. They make users idiots by not letting them see the UNIX system beneath. In fact, they do lots of things to make sure you don't see UNIX below the surface. That's the mark of iPhone tapping, Starbucks slurping, Wired reading, drooling yuppies that go out of their way to look like they just got out of bed. These people should be shunned because they are some of the worst lamers imaginable!

Q: What are lamers?

A: There are different types. There are yuppie wannabes who can be split into two categories: the freaks (they're the kind who wear wool caps) and those with money (those are the kind who sit at glass desks and burble out management speak). Then there are Script Kiddies. These are twelve year olds with computers that go out of their way to make others miserable by breaking computer security with programs like Back Orifice. They tend to use leetspeak and other corrupt dialects with fractured grammar and sentence structure. They delight in the misery of others and relish calling themselves "hackers". They are not hackers but they are crackers. I use the word hacker in its correct and original sense.

Q: Aren't you imposing unfair stereotypes?

A: Want to cry about it? Go call the internet-niceness police.

Q: What is a real hacker?

A: The correct and original sense of the word hacker comes from the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. Today, this subculture is associated with the Free Software Movement (of which I am a part). The Jargon file defines a hacker as "A person who enjoys exploring the details of programmable systems and stretching their capabilities, as opposed to most users, who prefer to learn only the minimum necessary." The RFC Internet Users' Glossary amplifies this meaning as "A person who delights in having an intimate understanding of the internal workings of a system, computers and computer networks in particular." Mass media idiocy and mainstream babble has reversed this term by meaning security breakers. True hackers frown upon security breaking as it makes other people's lives miserable. This is why I don't refer to myself as a hacker in mixed company.

Hacker Eric S. Raymond has called for a hacker culture emblem to be created. Information on it can be found here.
Below are some ASCII representations of it:

|_|0|_|     [ ][*][ ]    [ ][0][ ]      0 1 0     .o.
|_|_|0|     [ ][ ][*]    [ ][ ][0]      0 0 1     ..o
|0|0|0|     [*][*][*]    [0][0][0]      1 1 1     ooo

Q: Who is that Richard Stallman you talk about all the time?

A: Richard Stallman's Homepage Richard Stallman is the founder of the Free Software Foundation, an organization which works to protect and preserve the freedom of programmers and end users alike with powerful legal entities like the GPL.

Q: Who is Francis Chapelet?

A: Francis Chapelet is an organist from France who has restored many organs in Palencia, Spain. I have set up a fan club for him on Facebook.

Q: What kind of computer do you have?

A: I have two, a Lenovo ThinkCentre M58p as my desktop and A Lenovo R61 as my laptop machine.

Here are the specs:

	Lenovo ThinkCentre M 58p desktop - Fedora 12 GNU/Linux	Lenovo ThinkPad R61 Laptop - Fedora 12 GNU/Linux
Core Memory	2 Gigabytes PC3-8500 SDRAM	1 Gigabyte DDR SDRAM
Hard Disk Drive	160 Gigabyte 7200 RPM SATA II	120 Gigabyte 5400 RPM SATA-150
Processor	Intel Core 2 Duo, Dual Core at 3.0 Gigahertz clock speed	Intel Centrino, Dual Core at 2.0 Gigahertz clock speed
Display	2 x (Acer 22" x223w LCD) dual head configuration	14.1" LCD

Q: What kind of printer do you have?

A: I have a Brother HL-2140 laser printer that works nicely with CUPS, using all Free Software drivers.

Q: Do you use Flash Player?

A: Gah! Are you mad?! That's non-Free software! Use Gnash as an alternative. It's not good, but it works for some things (better on newer hardware, I've found). If there's a video on YouTube I want to watch, I download it with a Firefox plugin and watch it with VLC, which is Free Software. Don't install the Mozilla Flash plugin or even tell any body that it exists!

Q: What's a free software alternative to Photoshop?

A: GIMP, the GNU Image Manipulation Program. Oh, and don't use Photoshop as a verb, because you can do it with the GIMP too.

Q: Is there anything else in the FAQ?

A: No. This is it for this revision.